Lessons in Pittology Part 1

To be a Pittologist you need to have a degree in Pittology. This requires the student of Pittology to be familiar with a certain kind of methodology. This methodology is not, however, easily learned. It takes time, years in fact, to master the methodology of being a Pittologist.

Methodological Examples

For instance, in order to become a Pittologist you must ascribe to a pre-determined notion of hardship before you actually undertake the task that might be difficult. To cut the grass, for example, you must complain that no one ever does work around the house and that everything always must fall on your shoulders. This methodological approach provides the student of Pittology a window from which to gaze into the mind of the sufferer. Pittology is the science of many things. For the purposes of this lesson, however, it is useless suffering.

Pittologically speaking, then, understanding what suffering is and how it relates to you enables the student of Pittology to accomodate any situation, absolutely ANY situation, as a hardship. Another example. Electronics. When a Pittologist operates a computer system, the Pittologist analyzes his or her current conditional relationship with the monitor and tower system of the computational mechanism. The relationship, in order to be Pittologically correct, must be stupid. The computer is at once producing the exact information the Pittologist is requesting from it and being disobediently slow. The psychological impact this has Pittologically is of frustration. The frustrated Pittologist then understands the oppressive nature of the machine's obedience to Pittological commands.

But more than just understanding suffering and frustration in a whole new light and through a whole new psychological lens, Pittology enables the student of Pittaic science to also have insight into bombastic interpretations of events that really did not occur as they may have seemed to have occurred at the moment they occurred as observed by a Pittologist. Pittology, in other words, is a psychological analysis of Pittaic minds. Hence we have senior Pittologists, of the so called Agrilovounaiko School of Pittology, that often inflate or embelish stories of their youth to prove points and provide moments of comedic interpretation of by-gone years of hard work.

More importantly to note, however, is the ability of seasonsed Pittologists to find excitement in the most mundane tasks. My experience with a senior Pittologist is to collect fallen twigs and sticks under a massive Thorn tree full of pooping Sparrows-- by hand, one by one. Indeed this is a mundane task and also a quite boring and unnerving one-- not to mention highly prickly. But my mentor in Pittology often found excitement in the task by exclaiming the virtues of hard physical labor as being necessary for a well rounded education in life. This is indeed wise and would often be followed, for purposes of providing an example, by stories (or complaints) of one hardship or another that involved comparisons between the lives of student Pittologists and Senior Graduate Pittologists... and I mean often. And thus he would begin telling Pittologically classic stories of the Agrilovounaiko School of Pittology.

But that lesson underscores the very central meaning of Pittology: EVERYTHING must be done the hard way. There is no other way. To do otherwise would be Pittologically heretical. It would be un-Pittological, or anti-Pittaic.

More lessons to come...


Python